Do you have dreams that you think will never be fulfilled?
Do you think that you will never reach your goals? Does it feel as if something is always
holding you back? So, what is this mysterious something that is holding you back?
It is nothing but your own limiting beliefs. We try to put the blame on others or on external
circumstances. But actually, the only person that can help you is you. You can script your
own destiny. But for that to happen you must first get rid of your limiting beliefs.
What are limiting beliefs?
Limiting beliefs are negative thoughts that hinder our journey towards achieving our goals.
We are always looking for excuses for not doing things we want to do. Some examples are:
- I am not good enough.
- I am not talented enough.
- I am too old.
- I am not good-looking
To discover what are your own limiting beliefs just think of the excuses that you make.
But here’s the good news. By changing our mindset we can change these negative thoughts
into more optimistic beliefs.
What are the origins of our limiting beliefs?
These unconscious thoughts appear as defence mechanisms to avoid failure and
disappointment. Something that happened in the past had a negative effect. When faced
with a similar situation in the present, your subconscious mind tells you to avoid it.
Personal experiences can cause limiting beliefs. A personal trauma like a partner cheating on
you might make you want to avoid all relationships in the future.
There are also beliefs imposed on us by society, such as certain professions are not suitable
for girls.
Some limiting beliefs are caused by cultural prescriptions. For instance, in Indian society it is
believed that a girl needs to be fair-skinned in order to find a husband.
Discover Yourself
Self-discovery is the most important step in transformation.
The first thing you need to do is to find out who you are and what you want.
What are the goals you wish to achieve?
What is your biggest dream?
What are you passionate about?
How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs
Now that you know that your limiting beliefs are stopping you from achieving all that
you desire, how will you overcome your limiting beliefs?
- Identify what they are
Ask yourself these questions:
In what areas am I afraid to take action?
Do I blame myself for everything that goes wrong?
What is stopping me from doing the things I want? - Recognize the consequences
What are the damaging consequences of holding on to these beliefs? - Challenge your beliefs
Look for evidence that contradicts your beliefs.
If the beliefs are about your own abilities, find qualities in yourself that prove
them wrong. - Change your behaviour
Behave in a way that contradicts your belief. For instance,
if you think you have no social skills, attend more social events, or join
an activity where you will be surrounded by people. - Reinforce positive beliefs
Say positive things to yourself, which will act as a message to your
subconscious mind. Self-talk is very important, because whatever you say to
yourself, the mind always listens.
Change Your Mindset
Your mindset is the way you think. Train your mind to think positive thoughts instead of
negative. The only person who can change your life is the person you see in the mirror.
Changing your mindset can change your destiny.
Reinforce Positive Beliefs
Repeat affirmations every day. Affirmations are short sentences you repeat to yourself to
boost your self-esteem, such as:
- I am confident and strong
- I am intelligent and capable
- I succeed in everything I set out to do
If you practise daily, you will be able to change your entire mental make-up. This will pave
the way to transformation.
Look for the excuses you made for not doing the things you wanted to do – you will
discover your limiting beliefs.
How to get rid of your limiting beliefs
a) Identify what they are
b) Recognize that it is just a belief founded on fantasies,which sometimes turn out to be
completely untrue.
c) Challenge your belief – are there any supporting facts?
Collect evidence to counteract the belief.
Did I always think this way?
Roshmi Roy
Dr. Roshmi Roy is a gold-medalist from La Martiniere for Girls and has a Ph.D in English from Calcutta University. After teaching English in schools and colleges in Kolkata and Bangalore, she taught Business Communication in Management Institutes, such as Bhavan’s Institute of Management Science. On completion of her certification in Soft Skills and Personality Development, she became a freelance soft skills trainer and conducted workshops for studentsteachers and corporate employees. She has participated in and directed plays for English theatre groups in Kolkata. She is now a certified Transformational Coach who lives in Andheri West, Mumbai.
Her journey as an author began in 2009 with Sisterhood of Women, based on her thesis on feminine consciousness in women writers. Her first motivational book, Climbing the Beanstalk:It’s up to You to Reach the Top, was published in 2019. This was followed by two collections of short stories. Mindset Mastery, her fifth book, comes from her desire to share the knowledge she has gained in the field of coaching, in association with the Arfeen Khan Incredible You Coach Training Programme. Her message is that whatever your age and whatever your station in life, you have the right to lead a life of happiness and fulfilment. Her other interests include theatre, traveling and social work.
